1
How will shared and personal money work?
Discuss accounts, budgeting, savings, debt, family support, and the purchase amount that requires agreement.
Before marriage
Questions to discuss before marriage
Broad statements such as “we want a family” rarely reveal what everyday life means to each person. It is more useful to compare concrete expectations without trying to persuade each other immediately.
2
Do you want children, and when?
Clarify not only the number of children but also views on fertility treatment, adoption, and a childfree life.
3
How would work and roles change after a child?
Who reduces paid work, how unpaid work is recognized, and when outside help becomes appropriate.
4
How are major decisions made?
Define which decisions are joint, which remain personal, and what happens when you reach an impasse.
5
What boundaries apply to extended family?
Visits, house keys, financial support, and grandparents’ involvement are easier to discuss early.
6
What does each person consider cheating?
Physical intimacy, messaging, dating apps, and emotional relationships may be understood differently.
7
How do you reconnect after conflict?
Discuss cooling-off time, unacceptable behavior, repair attempts, and when to seek professional help.
8
What happens if the relationship changes?
Discuss reviewing expectations, personal safety, independent access to money, and professional advice.
How to use these questions
- Answer individually first.
- Compare meanings, not only matching words.
- Write down a concrete decision and when you will revisit it.
Answer separately, then compare.
No account is required. Neither person sees the other’s answers before finishing.
Choose a family model and start privatelyEducational conversation prompts only. They are not a validated psychological test, therapy, legal advice, or a legal agreement.